Free the Butt.
This started as “your brand, on my butt.” It is now a movement. Want your butt branded too? Join me. Bring your own premium real estate.
Tap any spot to place a bid. It's a render. Relax.
I'm monetizing the one asset I actually built this year: 18 months of squats.
The gym, the pool, the sauna, TechCrunch Disrupt, RevenueCat App Growth Annual, the quote tweets… your brand, seen where it has never been seen before.
The auction, live.
Every spot shows its current top bid. Spots from $50 Small · $90 Medium · $200 Cheek-wide, with a premium for the Tramp Stamp, plus a $25 Startup Slot below. Outbids move in $10 steps.
| Spot | Size | Held by | Current bid | Action |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 👑 The Tramp Stamp | Cheek-wide · 9.5 × 5.5 cm | open | from $300 | |
| Upper Left Cheek | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $100 | |
| Upper Right Cheek | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $100 | |
| Left Big Cheek | Cheek-wide · 9.5 × 5.5 cm | open | from $200 | |
| Right Big Cheek | Cheek-wide · 9.5 × 5.5 cm | open | from $200 | |
| Under Left Butt Cheek | Small · 4.5 × 4.5 cm | open | from $50 | |
| Under Right Butt Cheek | Small · 4.5 × 4.5 cm | open | from $50 | |
| Left Hamstring | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $90 | |
| Right Hamstring | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $90 |
The Startup Slot
from $25Can't drop $200 on a cheek? For pre-seed founders and indie hackers: your logo on the supporters wall plus a shoutout in the launch thread. No tattoo, all love.
The supporters wall
Every brand backing the asset, the Startup Slot included. Your logo, on the wall and on the butt.
No supporters yet. Grab a spot and be the first name on the wall.
Claim a spotHow it works
Pick your spot
Premium zones on the asset in three sizes, priced by visibility and… topology. Plus a cheap Startup Slot. All bids in dollars.
Win the bid
A 20% deposit (minimum $10) by card holds your bid. Outbid? Refunded automatically, in full. Win, and it counts toward your price.
Your logo rides along
Artist-grade waterproof temporary tattoo, worn at the gym and at SF founder events, photographed tastefully. Weekly pics on X for 30 days, your brand tagged.
What the money buys.
Here are the exact specs. The asset was not cheap.
- Gym membership, annual (the canvas is under construction)
- $600
- Protein, 12 months (the canvas requires materials)
- $500
- Glute-focused coaching program (progressive overload)
- $400
- Waterproof temporary tattoos, artist-grade
- $140
- Physio, for when this inevitably goes wrong
- $200
- Camera tripod + whatever dignity costs these days
- $160
Anything raised past the goal goes to leg day. It's always leg day.
Questions & Answers
›Is this real?
It was, for about two weeks. Now it's officially what it always was at heart: a loving parody of BrandMyMac.com. Vincent sold his MacBook lid; I don't have a lid, I have this. Every bid and deposit that came in is being refunded in full — you keep your money, I keep the squats. The auction stays up because it's funny.
›What do I actually get?
In the original timeline: a waterproof, skin-safe temporary tattoo of your logo, worn and photographed tastefully at the gym and at SF founder events for 30 days. In this timeline: a full refund, a spot on the supporters wall for posterity, and the right to say you once held a position in butt real estate. Honestly a better story.
›What's the Startup Slot?
A cheaper, digital-only slot for pre-seed founders and indie hackers who can't drop $200 on a cheek. Your logo goes on the supporters wall and gets a shoutout in the launch thread. From $25. No tattoo, no body zone, all love.
›Is this SFW?
The site is a render. The photos will be pseudo-safe-for-work, gym-shorts-level, the kind you'd see in any fitness ad. Relax.
›How does payment work?
It doesn't, anymore. Since this is now officially a parody, every deposit — winning, losing, or confused — gets refunded in full. Bidding here is the single safest financial decision you will make this quarter: you pay, you get it all back, and for a few days your logo lived on a butt. Nobody loses. Except me, spiritually.
›What if someone outbids me?
You get out-cheeked and your deposit is refunded automatically. Sign in with your email to track your bids, and come back and bid higher.
›Can any brand join?
Almost. I reserve the right to decline anything that would get me kicked out of my gym, my family WhatsApp group, or India. Declined bids get their deposit back in full.
›Why a butt?
Attention is the only currency left and I did squats for 18 months. A MacBook lid gets seen in cafés. This gets seen at the gym, the pool, TechCrunch Disrupt, and the quote tweets. You're reading this, aren't you?
›Can I do this with my own butt?
Legally, I cannot stop you. Spiritually, this is now the entire point. Free the Butt. Brand it yourself, post it, tag me. The movement grows one cheek at a time.
Hey, I'm An 👋
Founder, indie hacker, and now, apparently, outdoor advertising infrastructure. I saw Vincent fund a MacBook by selling his lid, watched brands actually outbid each other for it, and realized I've been sitting on premium inventory this whole time. Questions, bids, sponsorships? Find me on X or at annayal.com.
And yes — full disclosure — this whole thing is a parody. It was always a parody; for about two weeks the Stripe account just didn't know that. X had opinions, the world wasn't ready, so I'm calling it: every dollar raised is being refunded in full. You keep your money, I keep the squats, the internet keeps the screenshots. The butt remains free. If yours does too, join the movement.